Who calls the shots?

Thursday , 3, January 2013 3 Comments

Who calls the shots at your house when it comes to the kids?

A few months ago Riley started complaining of popcorn getting stuck in between her teeth. Her daddy or I would floss it out and she would be fine. A few weeks ago she began to complain that her tooth hurt. We made a dentist appointment with our good friend the following morning.

Full confession here, I do not like the dentist. I don’t like going. I don’t like the drilling, the smells, sounds or sensations! I’m very conscious about my irrational fears and try my best not to pass any of them on to Riley. Which translates in to, daddy deals with the dentist. It’s a nice compromise. I take the doctor and he handles the dentist.

The following morning they headed for the dentist. It turns out our sweet 5 year old had her first cavity. I felt like the worst mama ever! My husband, as well as the denist, assured me that there was no way we could have seen it. The cavity was situated in between her back two teeth. The X-ray showed that she would be losing that tooth within the next year. So far she hasn’t lost any teeth at all. The dentist recommended that the tooth be pulled. My husband made the decision to proceed with the extraction.

Riley handled it like a champ and took the order to let mommy and daddy brush her teeth very seriously. I think it was exactly what had to happen to get her attention. I really do think she would argue with a fence post oif given a chance, but that’s another blog post in itself! But what amazed me about the entire experience, was my husband’s reaction.

The entire visit he was sending me text messages. He even sent me a picture of the X-ray!


He confessed later that night that he was really dreading making the decision to pull her tooth all on his own! He admitted that he did not want to be the one to make the call. I realized that I make decisions all the time when it comes to her care and well-being and I rarely consult David. As a stay at home mom and her primary care giver, I don’t think I’m alone when I say, we, as stay at home moms, are the primary decision makers for our children.

Who is with me on this?  Can you relate?  Does your husband trust you to make the decisions?

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  • Kim says:

    My husband would never make a decsion like that without consulting me either. I’m definately the decsion maker when it comes to the kids. As primary care giver (and SAHM) I think I’m more equiped to make decsions on childcare because I’m more in the loop as to what is what. I read more, I talk to other moms etc.

  • Rachel says:

    I have learned in the past year of being a mamma that there are LOTS of decisions that I have to make on my own. It just isn’t possible to get a hold of daddy all the time. Of course, I do consult hubby on the big decisions, but have found that he trusts me when it comes to the day to day, and I am getting used to calling some of the shots on my own.

  • Jamie says:

    My husband only goes to the Dr. or ER with the kids if it’s life threatening. He says, “You’re better at it.” Like Kim, I know that he’s right. As primary caregivers, we are more equipped to act! Liz: You’re lucky your hubby will take Riley to the dentist!

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