Eli knows I am his mom. Sometimes he laughs at me. Sometimes he looks at me like I am nuts. He has great expressive faces. Sometimes he is really unhappy with me. Like the other day when I had to keep him from putting his fingers in the electrical outlet. He was MAD. I see him watch me and I wonder what he is thinking. ‘My mom is looney!’ Yeah, that’s probably it. Maybe ‘My mom is so mean!’ I’m sure that is the case sometimes too. It got me thinking about what I WANT Eli to think when he sees me. Not just today, but for the next 18+ years. And since we’re thinking into the future here lets throw his sibling(s) into the mix. If someone asks my children what kind of mom I am, what do I want them to say? What kind of mom do I want to be?
I want to be the kind of mom that lets her kids get dirty. Like, playing in the dirt, splashing in puddles, and finger painting without worrying that I am going to get mad. That is what laundry detergent is for. Clothes are cleanable, or replaceable, and most of Eli’s have been purchased second hand, or handed down. There is no substitute for allowing kids to be creative and sometimes that includes getting dirty.
I want to be the kind of mom that teaches her kids something every day. These days we’re working on ‘Where’s Eli’s nose?’ and ‘What does a dog say?’ but some day we will tackle everything from algebra to the birds and the bees. I want to be there to answer their questions.
I want to be the kind of mom that has high expectations. My children will know that I expect their best efforts in everything they do.
I want to be the kind of mom that goes with the flow. This one will be difficult for me, but I’ll try! I want to be able to enjoy days that don’t go exactly as planned. Some days call for flexibility, and turn out better than the plan could have ever made them.
I want to be the kind of mom that smiles more than I frown. Honestly, I don’t know what kind of expression I wear on my face most of the time. Probably a furrowed brow. That has to stop. I love that I get to be home with Eli, and I should show it on my face. I just think that having a pleasant look can change the whole mood of the household. I don’t want my lack of smile to set the tone for the whole house.
I want to be the kind of mom that can give myself a do-over and start fresh tomorrow, when I wasn’t the best kind of mom today.
I have written this list so that I can come back to it on the days when I need a reminder. I will need reminding time and time again. And I’ll probably add to the list as time goes on. Until then, help me out…