What Kind Of Mom Do You Want To Be?

Monday , 4, February 2013 5 Comments

Eli knows I am his mom.  Sometimes he laughs at me.  Sometimes he looks at me like I am nuts.  He has great expressive faces.  Sometimes he is really unhappy with me.  Like the other day when I had to keep him from putting his fingers in the  electrical outlet.  He was MAD.  I see him watch me and I wonder what he is thinking.  ‘My mom is looney!’ Yeah, that’s probably it.  Maybe ‘My mom is so mean!’  I’m sure that is the case sometimes too.  It got me thinking about what I WANT Eli to think when he sees me.  Not just today, but for the next 18+ years.  And since we’re thinking into the future here lets throw his sibling(s) into the mix.  If someone asks my children what kind of mom I am, what do I want them to say?  What kind of mom do I want to be?

I want to be the kind of mom that lets her kids get dirty.  Like, playing in the dirt, splashing in puddles, and finger painting without worrying that I am going to get mad.  That is what laundry detergent is for.  Clothes are cleanable, or replaceable, and most of Eli’s have been purchased second hand, or handed down.  There is no substitute for allowing kids to be creative and sometimes that includes getting dirty.

I want to be the kind of  mom that teaches her kids something every day.  These days we’re working on ‘Where’s Eli’s nose?’ and ‘What does a dog say?’ but some day we will tackle everything from algebra to the birds and the bees.  I want to be there to answer their questions.

I want to be the kind of mom that has high expectations.  My children will  know that I expect their best efforts in everything they do.

I want to be the kind of mom that goes with the flow.  This one will be difficult for me, but I’ll try!  I want to be able to enjoy days that don’t go exactly as planned.  Some days call for flexibility, and turn out better than the plan could have ever made them.

I want to be the kind of mom that smiles more than I frown.  Honestly, I don’t know what kind of expression I wear on my face most of the time.  Probably a furrowed brow.  That has to stop.  I love that I get to be home with Eli, and I should show it on my face.  I just think that having a pleasant look can change the whole mood of the household.  I don’t want my lack of smile to set the tone for the whole house.

I want to be the kind of mom that can give myself a do-over and start fresh tomorrow, when I wasn’t the best kind of mom today.

I have written this list so that I can come back to it on the days when I need a reminder.   I will need reminding time and time again.  And I’ll probably add to the list as time goes on. Until then, help me out…

What kind of mom do you want to be?

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5 Comments
  • pam mcvey says:

    I think you’ll do just fine. Just don’t make my misakes!!

  • Liz says:

    I love this! Well done Rachel. I think as moms we sometimes focus too much on what we don’t want to be. I love your perspective here and being a witness to your last year of being “momma,” I think you’re doing an amazing job and are well on your way to acheiving this list!

  • Jamie Wyatt says:

    I love your list, Rachel. It’s pretty much the way I reared my kids. Success to me is that as my kids are finishing college and law school, they still come home a lot and we enjoy spending time together! The things you mentioned give kids security and confidence and memories! Before you know it, Eli will be coming home from college to visit, too! Enjoy this time while he’s little!

    • Rachel says:

      Don’t remind me. So many people have mentioned how he doesn’t look like a baby anymore! This mamma is not ready for that! At the same time, I love watching him grow….such a dilemma! I know other mammas understand!

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