What do I want to be when I grow up?

Tuesday , 19, June 2012 7 Comments

A new chapter of motherhood is awaiting me at the end of the summer. As my oldest child enters kindergarten in the fall, I find myself wondering this: Is being “just a mom” what I want to be when I grow up?

I guess I should back up a little. I was a political science major in college. Not particularly because I wanted to be the first female president or because I wanted to be a lawyer, but just because I found politics interesting. And, well, ok, I’ll admit that I also thought I wanted to be a super activist who would save the world. Or something like that. But anyone can tell you that a political science degree doesn’t get you a leg up anywhere unless you’re going to law school.  Then I met the man who would become my husband, and we fell in love, and we graduated college, got married, and very soon after I was pregnant with Big Sister. Our first year of marriage consisted of me growing as big as a whale, and our second year of marriage The best way to avoid the fee for many Americans will be to buy health affordablehealth.info through their State”s marketplace using ObamaCare Subsidies. consisted of me crying & whining dgfev online casino that I wanted to quit my job as a customer service rep at a local heating & air company so I could stay home with her. I HATED leaving her in daycare, I hated having to let someone else take care of my baby all day, and while I liked the people I worked with, the job wasn’t a career.

Then, a few things lined up in our favor. My husband started his current career path (meaning, eventually, we’d be fine on one income) and I found a job as a nanny making the same amount I would have after daycare expenses to help in the meantime. I didn’t look back, and here we are, 4 years later, and I haven’t regretted a single second of it. I LOVE being a mom and it’s a job that comes (mostly) naturally to me. Don’t get me wrong, there are times I want to pull my hair out and scream and kick right there on the floor with them-and I can’t say that it’s never happened.   In addition, because my husband has such a crazy schedule, if I had a “real” job, we’d basically not have a lot of time to spend together as a family.

But lately, I’ve been thinking. What am I going to do when Little Brother starts school? Will I still be ok as a stay at home wife & mother? Isn’t that really old fashioned? And, is that what I want? And if I do want to enter the workforce again, what do I want to be when I grow up?

I think the biggest reason I struggle with this is because I wonder if other people will think less of me. Am I “enough” as a woman even though I chose to not have a career? That I made my family my career?

These are questions that I just don’t have the answer to. However, it is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind lately.

What about you? If you stay home, do you plan to make a career out of it? Or is it just for a short time while your children are not yet school age?

*Not trying to start “Mommy Wars” here. Every mom has to do what’s best for her family!

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  • Rachel says:

    I JUST had this conversation with a friend this weekend. I said I want to be a career mom….and she wondered if I meant that I wanted a career, or if I wanted to BE a MOM for my career. I explained that I would like to be a mom for my career. I want to stay home and cook, clean, teach, play with, care for, drive around, Eli and whoever decides to follow. Even when children are in school, I think there is plenty that needs to be done. I wonder though, what I will do with myself when my kids are old enough to leave home. If I don’t ever step into a career (or evejn a job) other than motherhood, what happens when I have a truly empty house. Assuming that happens before retirement, I can see some pretty boring, unfulfilling days ahead. I know I am thinking WAY into the future, but choices that I make now can effect what happens a while down the road.

    Also, I LOVE that you are willing to say that being a mother comes naturally to you. That is awesome! I know you are doing the right thing for your family…at least for now. And you will figure out the rest later!

    • Julie says:

      Well, just because it comes naturally doesn’t mean I know what I am doing. LOL.

      You make a good point at the empty nest thing. Hopefully by then my hubby will be retired too and we can travel around in an RV 😉

  • Chan says:

    I read a great article on SAHM vs working moms where it basically says that both types of moms are very important and it’s what makes our world go ’round… I’m over-summarizing. I’ll have to share it once I find it again. I’m a working mom but hoping that my company allows me to reduce my work hours once my daughter starts kindergarten next year. It seemed silly to me at first since I thought that I would have more time on my hands once she starts school but once I start thinking about it, I think that I would need to reduce my work hours to make it work for us. Not only does my daughter seem to have more extra-curricular activities as she gets older, it also seems to me that I need to spend more time with her afterschool to build a good foundation in her schoolwork. I think if you’re happy with being a stay at mom right now, it may not change just because little brother starts school. I think you’ll find that you still have a lot to do as a mom and wife even when both are in school during the day. Volunteering your time to an interested cause could also help you and your career during this limbo period while you decide what might be good for you and your family. I volunteered with a charity that required a few hours a week of computer time at home and I loved that. I got to work with a group that I really cared about and could do it at my own scheduled time.

    I would never judge another woman for giving up a chance at a career for motherhood as I can imagine how hard being a stay at home mom can be. Being a working mom is a choice my husband and I made together because that is what works best for us. YOU are an awesome mom! 🙂

  • Julie says:

    I like the idea you have about volunteering. I’d love to volunteer right now at a few places, but nowhere I’d like to take The Professor 🙂

    I’d love to read that article!

  • […] Like Julie, I’m facing a big transition at the end of the summer.  My situation is different in that I will be reducing my work hours so that I can be home with the kids just a little more during the week.  I have worked full-time since I graduated college.  I have a good job where there’s somewhat of a flexibility to our work schedule and most importantly (to me as a working mom) is extremely family friendly.  So when my daughter was born, I didn’t even consider reducing my work hours or staying home.  After the birth of my son two years ago and with my daughter starting pre-k last year was when I really started thinking more and more about reducing my work hours so that I could be home more with my kids.  My daughter starts kindergarten in the fall and although the school provides before and after school care if needed, we just didn’t think that is the answer to our needs.  I’ve always thought that when my kids start school, things will be less chaotic at our house. However, between the extra-curricular activities, school activities, school work, my husband’s rigorous work schedule, and the desire to spend extra time with my kid since she will be away from home five days a week, I just don’t see how we would make it work otherwise.  I am lucky enough that my employer is willing to work with me and reduce my weekly work hours (with reduce pay, of course) so that I can try to better balance my work and home life. […]

  • […] that I LOVE being able to stay home. I still don’t know if it’s something I want to do in the future, it is what works for our family right now. I also love having a clean house, and like Rachel, I […]