What Clubs Do You Belong To?

Monday , 25, February 2013 10 Comments

No, I’m not talking about Moms of Preschoolers, or MOMS Club.   I’m not even talking about a group that you met on Facebook, or Meetup.com.   I’m talking about a more unofficial type of club.   Like the ‘Cloth Diaper’ club, or the ‘Working Mom’ club.   You know what I mean.   Many times, we don’t have control over the clubs to which we belong.   I would rather not be member of the ‘my child spent time in the NICU’ club, or the ‘I have suffered a miscarriage’ club, but I am.   And sometimes when I meet another mom that is also a member of those clubs, I find immediate comfort in that common bond.

Other times, our club membership is by choice.   The way we choose to give birth, feed our children, how we decide to educate them….all of these choices allow us membership to different clubs.

A couple months ago, I attended a mommy blogger event, where I was surrounded by all kinds of moms.   Some were wearing their babies, some were pushing them in strollers, some (including me) left their babies at home.   As we were mingling before the event began, I inserted myself into a conversation about cloth diapering that a couple of the moms were having, because, you know, I cloth diaper too…I am part of that club.   Or so I thought.   Come to find out there are different types of cloth diaper clubs and I was definitely out of my territory.   Who knew?   My ego was a bit deflated.   I mean, I know there are different types of cloth diapers, but can’t we all get along?

When hanging out with different moms, it is inevitable that you won’t belong to all of the same clubs.   In my experience, most ladies are pretty good at playing nice.   At what point does different club membership become a problem?   Which club similarities are the most important?   Can a ‘natural birth’ club mamma be best friends with a ‘give me the epidural ASAP’ club mamma?

What memberships do you hold?   Does your close circle of friends need to have similar memberships?

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  • Jessica Moore says:

    I’m part of the “lived through colicky hell” club. Other moms would look at me with wide livid eyes when my answer to their question “Is she a good baby?” Was a prompt “no she’s terrible”. 16 hours a day of crying will do that to you. It was always a blessing when I met another true blue colic survivor..their immediate empathy and slight trembling at just remembering their club initiation was comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone!

    Other then that I’m part of the “extended rear facing carseat”, “child accessible house”(I setup our house to allow Karrigan access to darn near everything she needs for independence), and “baby wearing but I also love my stroller” clubs. I’m sure there are others I just can’t think of them. I think the key is for moms to respect that no one way works for everyone.

  • Julie says:

    Lately I’ve realized I now hold a membership in the “mom of a big kid” club. I’m also in the pro-nursing mom club and the cloth diaper club. Didn’t realize there were different chapters of that one, though 🙂

  • Jessica Moore says:

    Sure! Basically I .. Along with a surprising number of other mothers..believe that young children are capable of a lot more than sometimes we as parents admit. Also a large part of the time as parents we do things for our kids simply because it is easier/neater/faster for us to do it than it is to have our kids do them. When I describe my house I think at first some moms picture my child running around with steak knives or playing with bleach–which is not the case. What it does mean is that as she ages I provide more and more opportunities for her to do things for herself. Examples:

    1. Her toys are all in places she can get them on her own and use them neatly. I spent time teaching her and showing her how to use crayons/markers the right way. Now her paper, markers, etc. are all stored where she can access them without help from me. She knows if she wants to color how to get her stuff all on her own and do it. I often find her sitting at her toddler height craft table coloring without any intervention from me.

    2. In our pantry she has a snack box that contains her snacks for the day. She knows where it is and how to get it. It is at her toddler height..not my adult height. She has already learned that if she eats through the alotted snacks for the day she is out of luck. Surprising to many she will open a snack eat part, then put the rest back for later. More complex snacks that involve cutting etc. I make for her or WITH her using kid safe utensils.

    3. Clothes are kept at her eye level or in drawers easy for her to reach. Her chair at the table is setup so she can get up and down on her own. When she started showing interest in tooth brushing I made sure she could reach her own tooth brush (she still uses just water for brushing) and taught her how to use her portable stool to go to the sink for water etc. I still lead her evening tooth brushing session.

    4. I hang her art pictures etc. at her eye level..not mine. How can she be proud of her art on the wall if she can’t even see it?

    The big philosophy is that our kids can do A LOT if we remember that they are smaller than us and adjust our homes accordingly. Before she could reach the knob on her closet door I put cloth on it so she could use that to open her door and put her shoes away. This mentality requires a lot of supervision and initial instruction but it is pays off in having a child who is confident and capable to do some things on her own. When she wants something she doesn’t have to fuss or cry for it..she just does it. I could give a lot more examples but I’m rambling 🙂

  • Emily says:

    I’m a member of the working moms club and pro nursing club which also makes me a proud member of the moms who pump club. I agree that there is a quick bond that forms when you find another mom in your same club and it is a great opportunity to ask questions/learn information when you meet a mom from a different “club.”

  • Jamie Wyatt says:

    I am a member of the “I breastfed my children till either (1) they decided to stop on their own (at 11 months), or (2) they could ask in a complete sentence to nurse” (22 months) club! I had one of each! I enlisted occasional sips of Coca-Cola as a sweet distraction for the latter. Don’t judge! I had just lost my dad, and second child would not drink regular milk or much water or juice! He wanted my sweet milk! The taste of Coke in a soppy cup greatly expedited weaning! PS–He has not had a soft drink since middle school, and is graduating from college, so there was no permanent damage done!

  • Jamie Wyatt says:

    Oops, sippy not soppy cup! Darned auto-correct!

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