I have seen so many posts recently about Mothers feeling guilty/sad/broken about their unplanned c-sections. This is not one of those posts. Everyone’s story is different. This is part of mine.
My first c-section was unplanned and totally unexpected. Read the story of Eli’s birth here. Having had one c-section, the possibility of another was fairly likely. I did consider a VBAC. I was actually quite hopeful that it would be a good option for me. Well, It wasn’t. Ive had 2 c-sections and at this point I think we’re done.
I don’t feel like a failure. True story. In the end, my only goal was to get my children here safely. Done and done. We kept the safety of me and the boys at the forefront as we made decisions about how to proceed with their births. So, when the risks of vaginal birth became too great, we chose to go a different route. As much as we would all like to plan our picture perfect births, that is not an option.
I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Could I have changed the outcome of my children’s births? I don’t think so. I grow big babies. They like to stay in there for a long time. Two factors I can not change. In the moment, I did fret about the decision to have a c-section. Now, I can look back and know that the decision I made was best for me and my boys.
I don’t feel like I missed out. Not. At. All. I didn’t get to experience the whole pushing thing. I have never had painful contractions. I didn’t have to decide when/if to get an epidural. I’ve never had my water break. I never got to experience the highs or lows that come with a vaginal birth. But I did have two beautiful experiences on the operating table. I wouldn’t change anything about the way my boys came into this world.