The Right Way to Parent

Tuesday , 1, October 2013 1 Comment





















I have been reading this book on how to raise children. The actual title is “Parenting with Love and Logic”. Really good book so far. It goes into detail about how to parent and not parent. Being that my son is the first and in all ways my “test child”, I figured that it would be great to pick up some good habits and start early.

I can tell you that as I read this book, I see a lot of what my parents did and a lot of what I don’t want to do as well. However, the book specifically speaks on a parenting style that I would like to talk about. It’s called the helicopter parent. This parents, as defined by the book is the parent that hovers around their child. Always there to tell him or her what to do or not do and always there to rescue and pick up the pieces. Hmmm, sounds really familiar.

I don’t want to be the parent that does everything for my son. I do want him to learn that there are disappointments in life and that it is okay to make small mistakes. I think that those small disappointments and tiny mistakes are what will make him a more responsible adult. However, how do I balance it? How do I, as a parent determine which mistakes to let him make as a toddler and as a small child and how do I just turn away and not run to his rescue?

The mother in me is always looking for a way to save my son. I swarm in like supermom to catch him before he falls. When he does something that he knows that he was not supposed to do and he hurts himself, I am right there to console him. Is that wrong of me? Should I let him bare the consequences of his disobedience and not even address the scraped knee? How do I, as a mother allow him to make these mistakes and learn from them?

This journey as a parent is really hard at times. From how to discipline to how to let them grow up…….it seems that as a parent we too are going through a stage of growth and discipline. As I get deeper into the book, I will come back here and post new information and respond to any comments that the readers have. Wish me luck on disciplining myself as well……

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One Comment
  • Jamie says:

    As a “Mama on the Far Side of Childhood,” I’d say you’re headed in the right direction! Let your children “fall,” but be there to lovingly tend the skinned knee, take them to the hospital for the broken bones, console them when friends disappoint, or someone breaks their hearts. Then, AFTER things have settled down, not in the middle of the issue, maybe even a day or two later, discuss what could/should have been done differently, if anything. Confirm your love and share your wisdom/advice. In my opinion, unconditional love is your most important job as a parent. If your child knows you love them, no matter what, you’ll be able to work everything else out! You may not want to be called a “helicopter parent,” but I can assure you that you’ll want/need to hover pretty closely! You’ll want to keep an eye on everyone and everything your child is exposed to. As someone who has learned a lot over the years, personally and from friends, you can’t be naive about things like pornography, alcohol, drugs, predatory people, and a number of other things that can harm your child. People whom you know and love may not be totally trustworthy with your children! I don’t want you to be paranoid, but YOU are your child’s best protection from ALL harm! The following post link is a good one, and the check lists at the bottom of the post will help you prepare and enable your children to stay safe!

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