I am a talkative. I am outgoing. I am a nice person…..and sometimes, I am insecure. I have recently felt some insecurities while meeting other Mommies in my area. I am not insecure about my parenting skills, but about my participation in the Mommy group dynamic. I often find myself leaving a playdate or mommy activity wondering if I talked too much, if I said anything annoying, or if I asked enough questions of others.
Don’t get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to meet and hang out with other moms through blogging and other community meetups. But something about ‘making new friends’ takes me back to the awkward days of middle school when my elementary school combined with 4 other elementary schools, and making new friends was pretty much a necessity. I remember hanging out with a group of girls, thinking everything was fine, and then finding out later that they thought I was not cool. But such is Middle School, right? What a miserable time! I guess I am worried that I am going to find out that so-and-so was talking about how my haircut is soooo 2009.
Last year, my New Years Resolution was to ask more questions and to be a more attentive listener. Clearly I know my weakness. I like to talk, but don’t want to be that person that is completely unaware that she is dominating the conversation. I try to keep this in mind when meeting and hanging out with new people. My insecurities stem from the desire to be liked. I want others to think I am a nice person and enjoy being around me (don’t we all?). When meeting new people, or groups of people, it is difficult to gauge weather people really like you, or if they are just being nice.
So far, I have not had any negative experiences in meeting new moms. In fact, next to my husband coming home every evening, the playdates and meetups are usually the highlight of my week. Having a baby opened me up to a whole new group of potential friends. As I get more comfortable around folks and get to know people better, the insecurities diminish. Until then, I will continue to be myself and hope that everyone likes me the way I am!by