I remember the day, not too many months after we had moved to the south that I realized I was living for nap time. I was LIVING for the two hour block in the afternoon that meant I could go clean the room of the day (I had that back then), read a scripture or check my email.
I remember how sad it made me, the realization that I was not enjoying what occurred in my home every day. How could I not enjoy a one year old that brought me every book in her room each morning to look at? Who loved getting a coat on and kicking a ball around the apartment parking lot? I did like them – and oh my goodness do I miss those morning book-a-thons now- but I still WAITED on “me” time in the afternoon. That time I would get something “done”.
I’m sure I rolled my eyes every time my dad told me attitude is everything as a teenager, of course he was onto something. As soon as I decided to shift my attitude, I noticed the difference. It wasn’t in anything tangible, but in my attitude during the day and my sense of urgency in general. I had more fun. I still needed my “me” time, but I wasn’t living every breathing moment for 1-3pm.
It’s only been two years y’all and I find myself facing a similar situation. I’m thinking I might tear my hair out if I have to play one more game of monkey in the dollhouse, or Little People farm animals, or cook rocket soup (Little Einstein reference there) – all things I will probably do tomorrow. I’m finding myself getting very short with my daughter. And then I want to kick myself because she is so positive and happy – I hate to put a damper on HER attitude.
I’ve got good excuses to not handle things as well, raging pregnancy hormones and a deployed spouse. But tonight as I walked by my daughters room and see that Little People cow smiling away on the floor I want to cry because I know it won’t be that long until he’ll be replaced by makeup and posters of boys. When that day comes I would probably give anything to sit on the floor with her and play with Little People toys. But the day will be past.
So, while not always easy, I am on a mission to embrace my parenthood again. My babies are worth it.by