Embracing Motherhood

Thursday , 1, March 2012 Leave a comment

It’s archives week here on PSMB.  Here is one from super early on:

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I remember the day, not too many months after we had moved to the south that I realized I was living for nap time.  I was LIVING for the two hour block in the afternoon that meant I could go clean the room of the day (I had that back then), read a scripture or check my email.

I remember how sad it made me, the realization that I was not enjoying what occurred in my home every day.  How could I not enjoy a one year old that brought me every book in her room each morning to look at?  Who loved getting a coat on and kicking a ball around the apartment parking lot?  I did like them – and oh my goodness do I miss those morning book-a-thons now- but I still WAITED on “me” time in the afternoon.  That time I would get something “done”.

I’m sure I rolled my eyes every time my dad told me attitude is everything as a teenager, of course he was onto something.  As soon as I decided to shift my attitude, I noticed the difference.  It wasn’t in anything tangible, but in my attitude during the day and my sense of urgency in general.  I had more fun.  I still needed my “me” time, but I wasn’t living every breathing moment for 1-3pm.

It’s only been two years and I find myself facing a similar situation.  I’m thinking I might tear my hair out if I have to play one more game of monkey in the dollhouse, or Little People farm animals, or cook rocket soup (Little Einstein reference there) – all things I will probably do tomorrow.  I’m finding myself getting very short with my daughter.  And then I want to kick myself because she is so positive and happy – I hate to put a damper on HER attitude.

I’ve got good excuses to not handle things as well, raging pregnancy hormones and a deployed spouse.  But tonight as I walked by my daughters room and saw that Little People cow smiling away on the floor I wanted to cry because I know it won’t be that long until he’ll be replaced by makeup and posters of boys.  When that day comes I would probably give anything to sit on the floor with her and play with Little People toys.  But the day will be past.

So, while not always easy, I am on a mission to embrace my parenthood again.  My babies are worth it.

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