Almost three years ago, my husband and I made the decision for me to stay at home with our children. It was a decision we thought long and hard about, a decision that I will never regret. I have enjoyed a wonderful balance by working from home while taking care of our children, but constant reevaluation of our situation has led to another big decision: I am going back to work.
A recent post by Jennifer Pinarski on the Today’s Parent blog shared 6 things no one tells moms about going back to work. I’ll check back later this year to let you know how true these are for me, but they make a lot of sense! The ones that stood out to me were:
I enjoyed reading Pinarski’s post because it comforted me to read about someone who had successfully made this transition. The fact is that right now I am really, really scared about this upcoming change.
So, what am I so afraid of?
First and foremost, I will not be able to be as involved in my children’s daily activities. Right now, I am with my youngest pretty much all.the.time (although she does go to her grandparents’ house each Wednesday). I frequently volunteer in my kindergarten daughter’s classroom, and I am a leader in her Girl Scout troop. Basically, how am I going to let go of control?
Secondly, there’s the will-I-find-a-job fear. More specifically, will I find the RIGHT job? This could be its own blog post, but I won’t digress on this point.
The most concise way to communicate the fear I am experiencing is the fear of CHANGE. Change is hard, but I have made major changes like this before, so I’m pretty sure I will survive.
Amidst the fear and anxieties is a fair amount of excitement. It’s a new adventure. A new challenge. I can do this, and I can be great at it. In the meantime I’m going to enjoy every moment of my SAHM-dom (in between resume-updating and job-searching, of course). I keep reminding myself of one of my favorite quotes by Sheryl Sandberg (who I am a big fan of): “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
So, I guess I am going to go do it.